Our Love-Hate Relationship with Nonprofit Galas

At the nonprofit where I serve as VP of Advancement, we just wrapped our annual signature event. For 72 hours, I let myself sit in it. The energy. The stories. The moments when someone leans in and says, “This night was magical!”

You can feel when an event lands the way you hoped it would. People are moved. Conversations shift. Donors lean in. The mission feels visible in a powerful, public way.

And then, somewhere around hour 73… reality returns.

Because while I’m still replaying the impact, my team is already back at work—quietly beginning the long road to next year.

The Love Side of the Equation

Let’s be honest: when they’re done well, events work. They:

Create visibility you simply can’t replicate in a direct mail piece or email campaign
Bring new people into the room, tent, outdoor venue, or hotel ballroom who may not otherwise engage
Humanize the mission in ways data alone never will
Spark conversations that lead to deeper connection and, sometimes, transformation

There is something uniquely powerful about gathering people in a room, telling a story, and inviting them to be part of something bigger than themselves.

That’s the magic we chase.

The Part We Don’t Talk About Enough

But here’s the tension—one many of us feel but don’t always say out loud:

Events are expensive. Not just in dollars… but in human capital.

We talk often about cost per dollar raised (and we should). A well-run event should generally land in that 20–25 cents on the dollar range.

But what about:

The hundreds of staff hours?
The opportunity cost of major gift work that didn’t happen?
The strategic initiatives paused while everyone “just gets through the event”?

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth:

Events don’t just cost money. They consume focus.

And focus is one of the most valuable resources your team has.

When Events Become Transactional

There’s an even deeper risk—one that doesn’t show up on a budget sheet. It’s when events become… transactional. You know the cycle:

Fill a room with hundreds of people
Celebrate a strong night
Add a long list of “new” donors
And then quietly watch last year’s donors… disappear

So you do it again.

And again.

Working all year to replace the donors you lost the year before is not a growth strategy. It’s a treadmill.

If an event is primarily about:

Ticket sales
One-night giving
Table counts

…without a clear pathway to relationship-building, you are renting donors—not developing them.

The Strategic Question We Have to Ask

At some point, every leadership team has to step back and ask:

What else could our staff be doing if they weren’t planning this event?

Not because events are inherently bad—but because they are resource-intensive by design. Imagine reallocating even a portion of that time toward:

Major gift cultivation
Personalized donor journeys
Stewardship that actually deepens loyalty
Strategic partnerships

Would your revenue look different? Would your donor retention improve? Would your team feel less stretched?

These are not easy questions—but they are necessary ones.

So… Why Don’t We Walk Away?

If the math is complicated…

If the staff burden is real…

If the donor churn is frustrating…

Why do we keep doing events? Because they’ve become more than fundraising devices. They are:

Community traditions
Social gatherings people look forward to
Brand anchors for your organization
Moments of shared identity and belonging

Walking away from an event—especially a successful one—can feel like pulling a thread that might unravel much more. And in some cases, it might.

The Better Question

Instead of asking, “Should we stop doing events?”A more useful question is:

“What role should this event play in our overall strategy?”

Because events should not:

Carry your fundraising goals (remember COVID when nonprofits couldn’t gather for events?)
Replace relationship-building
Be justified solely by “we’ve always done it.”

They should:

Stay within a disciplined cost structure (ideally 20–25 cents on the dollar)
Serve as a gateway, not a destination
Intentionally move people into deeper engagement
Strengthen—not strain—your team

Designing Events That Actually Work

If you’re going to do an event, make it count beyond the night itself:

1. Build the Relationship Plan Before the Event Happens

Who is hosting? Who is attending? Who owns the follow-up? If you don’t know how a guest moves forward after the event… they won’t.

2. Measure More Than Money

Track:

Retention of event donors
Movement into major gifts
Ongoing engagement

Because the real ROI isn’t what happens that night—it’s what happens after.

3. Protect Your Team’s Capacity

Be honest about:

Time investment
Role clarity
Burnout risk

A successful event should not come at the expense of your people.

4. Be Willing to Evolve

Maybe the answer isn’t canceling the event—but:

Scaling it differently
Changing the format
Reducing frequency
Repositioning its purpose

Tradition is valuable—but strategy matters more.

The Reality We Live In

For now, many of us will continue to live in this tension: Celebrating the impact. Questioning the cost. Balancing both. And yes—taking those 72 hours to bask in what went right.

But when the glow fades, the real work begins again—not just planning the next event, but ensuring that what we’re building goes far beyond a single night.

Events don’t build organizations. Relationships do.

The best events simply open the door.

What you do next—that’s where the real “Yes” happens.

If this article made you think—or even better, rethink how you approach fundraising events—subscribe to The Yes Advantage Insider and get it delivered to your inbox weekly.

Because getting to “yes” isn’t luck… It’s a strategy.